Maker’s Diary: New Writing

I am at the airport in Edinburgh still…suppose to be home by now but my flight has been delayed by more than 3 hours! Oh joyful! I was flicking through my notes and remembered that I wrote a couple of ‘tape texts’ while sat in the C-Bar at various points waiting for Charlie or shows. Since I have some time to kill I might as well share them with you now.

Voicemail: Mum

Beep-Date-Time.
Mum?
Pause. Speaking through tears and snot.
Mum are you there?
Pause.
Mum pick up please.
Beat.
Mum, I don’t know what to do I think I am loosing the baby and I don’t know what to do.
Beat.
It really hurts and I don’t know what to do.
Wails.
I’m so scared, there’s so much blood, he’s at work, it hurts so much, I’m scared mum
Pause. More desperate now.
Mum I don’t know what to do I’m so scared and I don’t want to loose another one
Moans of pain.

Beep-Date-Time
It’s me
Pause
Where are you?
Beat
I’m at the hospital; I can’t get hold of anyone. Where the fuck are you Mum?
Pause.
Please Mum, when you get this you need to call me.
Breaks down. In a whisper.
I lost the baby
Pause.
I’m not pregnant anymore.
Pause.
Please just come, hurry.

Beep-Date-Time
They’re keeping me in, gotta be ‘cleaned out’, as the nurse put it but they can’t do that until first thing.
Pause
Just thought you might want to know. Don’t bother coming up, it’s too late for visitors and he’s here now, so I am not on my own.

Dialogue: Sorry

Male: Look at me, please look at me. Christ!
(Pause)
Doesn’t matter what I say, does it?
(Pause)
Does it?
Pause
Fuck. Say something, anything. Yell, go on, tell me what you think of me, tell me what you’re thinking.
(Long Pause)
Fine. Just sit there in silence, think what the fuck you like
(Beat)
Whatever!
(Pause)
I’m sorry
(Long pause)
I don’t know what you expect me to say. What do you want me to say?
(Pause)
For fucks sake, you won’t even look at me! Are you gonna say something or just sit there like a mute fucking lump. This is pointless.
(Pause)
I’m sorry, I am. Sorry

Female: Sorry! Sorry! Fucking Sorry; sorry for what you did or sorry that you got caught out?

Male: Do you even have to ask me that, c’mon what do you think?

Female: Well evidently yeah, I do have to ask. I don’t know, I just don’t know what to think anymore.
(Pause)
I don’t know what to think.
(Pause)
You wanted to talk, so talk.
(Beat)
Well? Speak then, explain it to me, make me understand why you would do that because I really don’t get it.
(Pause)
Well, what’s the fucking problem? Speak.

Male: I don’t know what you want me to say.

Female: How’s about you start by explaining why you felt the need to FUCK MY BEST FRIEND! Lets start there shall we?

Male: I’m sorry, I’m really fucking sorry. I do love you.

Female: Oh shut up you filthy fucking dog, you obviously don’t know the meaning of the word. You love me so much that you had to share it with my best friend, is that it. Nice, real nice.
(Beat)
You fucking dog, you cheating bastard, horny dog. I hope you are pleased with yourself; cock sated, ego satisfied is it?

Male: You’re right, I am a fucking dog. I’m sorry. Just tell me what you want, tell me what you want me to do, what you want me to say? Tell me how I can fix this, coz I love you, shit I really love you. Tell me what to do.

Female: Take it back

Male: What?
(Pause)
What do you mean?

Female: Take it back, make it so it never happened.

Male: I can’t. I wish I could, Fuck, you know I can’t. I’m sorry though, really sorry; you have no idea/

Female: No, you’re right, I have no idea, so why don’t you explain it to me because I really don’t understand.

Male: What do you want to know?

Female: I want to know how you can tell me that you love me with the same mouth that was on her body.
(Long Pause)
Didn’t think so.
( Pause. In a whisper)
Get out.

Male: What?

Female: Get out

Male: No, we’re not done yet.

Female: Take it back or get out.

Male: I’m not leaving til we have properly talked this through. I still love you.

Female: You can’t take back what you did, so there is nothing to talk about.

Male: At least let me explain, we need to talk it through, be sensible. I need to explain.

Female: Explain what? You keep banging on about explaining but you haven’t yet. What, explain how you just had to put your cock in her? Explain how you just had to press your lips on hers, how it felt, how she felt, how you made her scream. Huh, explain what! c’mon then, explain what? I’m not fucking interested, boo fucking hoo, I don’t give a shit! You did it, you cheated, you screwed her, you put your cock in her mouth, you fucked up.
(Beat)
Can you take it back?
(Beat)
Can you take it back?

Male: NO!

Female: Then just get out, get out you cheating fucking dog, get out.
(Pause)
GET OUT

Male: Fine, fine, whatever, if that’s what you want. I’ll come back when you have calmed down. I’m sorry ok, I just need you to know that, I really am so sorry. I love you, I’m sorry.

Female: Sorry. Sorry indeed! That makes two of us then, a right fucking sorry pair. Now get out.

I am still really fed up now; I can’t even smoke…..arrgghh! I am going to take
another look around duty free at things I can’t buy I think!