Makers Diary: Ask for the moon

Today’s session started really well, the warm up was fantastic, full concentration, loads of energy and imagination. We did a couple of new exercises that they all really responded to. I wanted to get them to think about the relationships between them and to think more about their physicality. We did an eye contact exercise to try and build some trust and to draw out the tensions and fusions. They had to maintain eye contact with the ‘it’ performer, who had to try and avoid their eye contact. This was a really successful exercise. We also did some exercises that played around with the idea of Bouffant bodies. I took it out of the context of humour but we used the idea of bouffant to try and express ideas and concepts in a physical and vocal way rather than in a textual way. This was really successful and again was a useful bonding exercise. It seems that the tighter the structure of the exercise the father the performers will push it and run with it. It seems that the more rules, the more willing they are to take real risks and really invest in the exercise. I am hoping that this will also be something that the audience’s games and tasks will inspire and create.

We finished developing and blocking the moon text, so here are the results of our work:

SHE is leaning against the tall block, sitting on the floor, while HER is sat on it. Him is stood just moving casually around the space. He uses up the space and wonders around for the entire time that he is speaking.

HIM: She was a woman, you know, the kind of woman who wears suits, good
suits with heels. And when she passes by you catch a soft heady waft of her
oriental smelling perfume, sweet and exotic. The kind of woman who carries
an extra pair of champagne coloured stockings in her leather purse, just in
case. Go on, close your eyes and picture her.

Closes his eyes and takes a long pause and a deep breath.

The kind of woman who chooses not to be a mother and has an applehead
Siamese cat, called Digby waiting for her when she gets home late, in the
dark from the office.

The kind of woman who enjoys opera and always has a glass of good red
wine during the interval.
The kind of woman who always seems to rush to the ladies room after she’s
eaten.
The kind of woman who bites her cuticles when she is nervous.
The kind of woman with a pre-Raphaelite beauty hanging in her light and
spacious entrance hall.

AD LIB- uses the audience to create more dialogue about what kind of woman
she is.

The kind of woman who eats Thai food and sushi with chop sticks. The kind of
woman who sips her champagne from a crystal cup that (licks his finger and
makes the motions) sings when you tease the rim. The kind of woman who’s
snap action umbrella always matches her bag and shoes.
The kind of woman who takes baths, long baths by the light of flickering
scented candles.
The kind of woman who smiles without ever really opening her lips. The kind of woman who doesn’t own a biro and has a pink grapefruit for breakfast. The kind of woman who always seems to know what she wants.

Pause

The kind of woman like you (points to women in the audience) and you and you, yeah and you.
You know the kind of woman who is snooty and independent

(Pause)

The kind of bitch (both SHE and HER now focus all of their attention on him) who thinks that she is above all men, above me (HER gets up so that she is with him in time to interrupt), the kind of woman who/ (HER walks to HIM and puts her hand on his shoulder, then immediately steps in front of HIM. As HER does this, HIM lifts her up in the air)

HER: What he means to say is that she was beautiful and powerful but that was never enough, (HIM carries HER forwards to SL) like you and me and all women, (HIM lays her down on her side, on the floor. ) she wanted more. (HIM steps back, looks at HER for a moment and then sits on the tall block) More beauty, more power, to be more feminine, to have more choice. (HER is stood up by this line and SHE gets on all fours directly in front of HIM)
To have better shoes (HER puts her foot on SHE’s bum, all the time addressing the audience), a smaller arse (HER steps up onto SHE’s back and HIM stands up, HER swings her legs around his body and HIM sits down, laying HER across SHE’s back, so that she address the audience upside-down), for her tits to be more full and pert, her skin more fresh. (HER rolls off SHE’s back and then lays across SHE) She wanted more glamour (HER puts her arm upright in the air and brings her other hand down it slowly), fame (HER strikes a vogue pose), recognition (HER does a coy little dismissive wave and then covers her mouth), praise (HER does a little flourish of a bow. HERthen stands up by SHE’s feet). She wanted a bigger heart, fuller heart, more hopeful heart, (SHE takes her hand and pulls her, so that they end in an embrace) a cherished heart. (Her pushes SHE onto her back and straddles over her, laying her hands on SHE’s stomach, all the while talking directly to the audience) Her stomach to be flatter, (HER stands a little and runs her hands down her thighs) her thighs more slender, (HER crouches at SHE’s feet and lifts one of SHE’s feet up to her lips) her feet smaller, (HER reaches for SHE’s hand ) her nails longer, (HER pulls SHE to her feet, they look into each other) her love deeper (HER leans in to kiss SHE but at the last moment pushes SHE away). She just wanted more; more love (HIM comes in from SR, HE takes HER in a ballroom dance hold: step, step, HIM turn, HER turn. HIM touches her face, the hold a look as he moves off SL), more passion (SHE comes in SR, takes hold of HER in a tango hold, they both lean out. SHE touches HER face as she moves SL and back round to stand near HIM, shoulder to shoulder), more power (HER does a spin and clicks her fingers, as soon as HER clicks her fingers, SHE and HIM drop onto their knees), more sex (HER moves around the back of SHE and HIM and lays down across their backs, so that she is looking upside-down at the audience)), more chocolate. (HIM and SHE stand up, forcing HER to stand also, they stay shoulder to shoulder and HER pushes through them)
She wanted to be special.
She wanted to be special. (HER moves forward SR)
(HER stops)She wanted to be woman. (HER crouches down)
So one night (SHE moves off in an arc SR and ends up behind HIM), when the moon was full and fat (SHE does a handstand against HIM’s back and he pulls her up over his head, with her arms outstretched and puts SHE on the floor in front of HIM)), she stretched her arms up out of the waves, (HIM places one hand on her shoulder and brings the other over her face as SHE opens her mouth wide) she opened up her big red lips and swallowed the shimmering silver orb whole.

(Long Pause. SHE starts to turn and sink to the floor towards SL and HIM does the same, so that it looks as though SHE has vanished into HIM. They become like a rock on the ground)

And so the sea stood still (HER stands up and walks back towards HIM and SHE), the night turned black (HER sits on HIM’s back) and in the darkness we were found wanting.

(Beat. HER puts the boxes back into the original formation of a step system. HIM and SHE start to rise up from their positions in the same way that they got into them, by the time they are up, HIM will have removed SHE’s top and throws it to the ground. As they do this HER is choosing a pair of shoes from the wheelbarrow and placing them in front of the tall block, kneeling in front of them. Beat. HER turns to face HIM and he reaches around and undoes her bra, discarding it. Beat HER turns around and puts her back to him again. Beat lifts up her arms and holds her wrist with one hand. Beat HIM takes hold Beat Him lowers SHE to the floor and drags her across to the tall block. Beat HIM pulls SHE up to standing with SHE’s back to HIM. Beat HIM lifts SHE onto his shoulder and steps onto the podium. HER comes round to pull off her shorts, discarding them and moves back to HER original position. Beat HIM turns and lowers SHE into the red shoes in the floppy hands Christ position, hair down, head down, while HER holds them steady. HER gets up and moves around to the SL side of the tall block and steps up to HIM. HIM takes her into a tight and dominant embrace, holding HER to his chest with his arms around HER. Beat)


SHE:(SHE turns her palms up and lifts her head sharply) I am celestial.
I am a nymph.
I am a goddess. (SHE lowers her hands and takes a step forward)
I am the woman who swallowed the moon. (SHE starts to walk around the space, close to the audience and looking directly at them moving SL)
The one the sea didn’t take. The limp lady dangling stretched from the rope. The woman with her wrists slashed and her arteries pumping, spilling out their crimson honey into the bathtub.
The woman with the stomach full of paracetemol, co-proximal and drain cleaner.
The girl they laid low.
The beauty queen fizzing in the heart hot tub, rickled fingers clutching her hair dryer.
The rock chic jacked full of junk, petrified and gaping.
The sleeping beauty in the front seat sucking on invisible death.
The pallid diva stiff and slouched, head lolling on the porcelain rim, life leaking from her perfect nose.
The desperate housewife, fixed pupils, empty starring through the misty, scratched plastic.
The fem fatale with a knife in her gut.
The ancient figure head with an asp grasping her teat.
The smudge in your diary, the stain in your heart.
The woman with stale spittle and vomit on her lips.
The tragic smart feminist with her head in the gas oven. The woman who left a dark stain on the pavement. The woman who blew her brains across the dashboard. The woman tangled in the mud amongst the duck weed and lily pad stems. (By this point SHE will have done a full circle and ended up back in her starting position) (Pause. HIM and HER will get into a new freeze pose. HIM stood with a clenched fist and HER at his feet looking up)

That is I, The celestial, goddess, nymph; the woman who swallowed the moon.

(Pause)

(Still to the audience) But tomorrow I will stop. (SHE moves across and gets into a crouch to talk tenderly into HER’s face) Stop butchering, stop crying, stop shouting, stop dying, stop killing myself and listen to the silence song. (SHE stands up)I will shut the door (SHE pulls HER to her feet and helps her down off the block, she stands behind HER and puts her hands through under HER’s arms. They do 3 gliding steps forward in unison as one) and find that I have breasts (SHE from behind, runs her hands over HER’s body), thighs, ankles and a womb. (SHE takes hold of HER’s hands and pushes them to her crotch) With my soft delicate fingers I will pleasure myself. (HER turns SHE and helps HER to lay on her back on the floor. HER begins to do a repetitive curl and uncurl sensual movement as SHE walks over to the tall block, where HIM is still stood in his pose) Reclaim my lips (SHE steps onto the tall block too and says next line right up in his face), my cunt (HIM steps down onto the middle block backwards); from the men, from the lovers. Who have had me, used me, fucked me, screwed me, buggered me, raped me over and over and over (HIM steps back onto the smallest block). I will rip the moon her fat silver roundness from my belly and stagger into the street drenched in my own blood. (HIM steps back down onto the floor and faces the audience) Letting my sinew and song soak their sidewalks. Leaving a trail of where I once trod. I will hold up my face to the sky (SHE holds her face up to the sky), fingers raised to the heavens (SHE raises her arms up high, fingers outstretched), letting my insides paint me. (Pause. SHE’s arms and head drop back down)
I am woman.
I am celestial. (SHE steps onto middle block, looking at HIM menacingly and triumphantly)
I am a nymph. (SHE steps onto the small block)
I am a goddess. (SHE steps onto the floor in front of HIM but with her back to him. Pause)
(To the audience) I am the woman who swallowed the moon.

I was really hoping that we would be able to develop and pre-pare all 4 texts but that is really not looking very likely now. It is such a time consuming activity to develop each of the texts in this way and I would rather have two well prepared texts than 4 at workshop stage. I am not going to rule it out but we have so little time it now just seems inevitable. I think that we will have time to prepare them all for Camden. As long as the audience have a choice between the two that achieves my goal.

I brought the inscription text along to the rehearsal today, Nikki, Debbie and Richard were really pleased to see that the material they had generated had been fashioned into something and they liked the texts. We played with the notion of inscription and tried lots of different ways that we might be able to create ‘her’ and generate a presence of ‘her’ through inscribing on their bodies. Everyone really invested in this part of the process and we very quickly devised and choreographed a small section. Here are the results of that part of the process:

HER: (While inscribing HIM. He leans on SHE’S back as HER writes on his lower arm)
The used to pull her hair.
They like to make her wait.
They sometimes forget about her.
They don’t realise when she is dying inside.
They threw her out of the top floor window.
They always make her feel inadequate.
They heckled for her to jump.
They tear her flesh with their eyes.
They left her out in the rain.

HIM: (While inscribing SHE. SHE puts her leg on HER’S shoulder as HIM writes on her thigh)
They forgot to tell her the truth.
They told her that she would never amount to anything.
They laughed when she made a mistake.
They used to call her derogatory names.
They sometimes throw sticks and stones.
They always hurt her with their sharp tongues.
They take pleasure in her stinging tears.
They held her on the ground for him.

SHE: (While inscribing HER. HIM gives HER a fireman’s lift and SHE writes on the back of HER calf)
They tried to cave her skull in.
They never listen when she speaks.
They shit on all her ideas.
They poke her with their wit until she cries.
They used to tell her whopping great lies.
They always make her do it first.
They have broken her heart repeatedly.
They spit in her hair when they think she is not looking.
They used to lock her in the dark place.
They keep forgetting to come for her.
The piss on all her dreams.

We did some more work on the entrances and undressing section of the piece and I had hoped that they would have pre-prepared some ideas, thoughts and movements but only Nikki had done some work to show us. I gave them 10 minutes to work on them, while I left the room to make some calls about the sound and costume; I had hoped that they would work while I was out of the room to make up for not having prepared anything before hand but when I came back they were sat chatting and again Nikki was the only performer working. They also had not managed to devise anything to show me in that time either. I was disappointed because the first half of the session had gone so well. Debbie had some ideas but was having difficulty putting them into a visual language and Richard seemed to be at a total loss. Nikki’s work was really exciting, she used the floor and had worked with the concept of an actual siren and had looked at the relationship between the sea and the female psyche. He entrance is really coming on and it will not take much work to knock that into a polished piece of performance. I think with more encouragement Debbie will produce some really exciting work; I really want to encourage her to draw on her background and experience as a dancer and how this relates to her performance persona, there is so much there that she can problematise I think; notions of the trained dancers body and beauty etc. Richard’s lack of training and experience is more of an issue than I first anticipated it would be; not because I do not think that he is capable of using his body and his experiences to create a visual language but because I think that he is not used to exposing himself in this way and is struggling with confidence. I will have to make some time for a few one to one sessions to help Richard devise his five minute section. I am purposefully not going to do this for Debbie because I want her to push herself and I do not want to influence or interfere with her physicality. I want it to come from her…with Richard I have no choice. I do not want to have to direct or choreograph him the traditional sense but time constraints may mean that I have no choice but to do that.

Now that I have a few small sections devised and some of the text prepared, we need to start looking at the structure and how we can start to pull all of the elements together. We also need to think about how we can start to prepare the participatory elements without an actual audience present at every session. I have an idea of how it will run but it will not necessarily be that way in actuality.

I am concerned about the participation; I really want the performers to find challenging and innovative ways of approaching the audience’s material. After today I have realised that the tighter the rules the more I seem to get out of the performers, so I have a suspicion that I will get better results if I give the performers specific and particular ways of addressing what the audience throw at them. We are going to need to spend a considerable amount of time preparing and developing that particular performative toolkit, so that it is just right and still achieves our participatory objectives. Although we need to get onto this I don’t want them to forget the blocking and development that we have already done, so the next session will be rehearsing what we have already done to date. It has to be to set in solid before we move on to the next section.

I now have the perfs availability for the next few days, so I must remember to get us some space booked.